How to Meditate

Is there a correct way to meditate? There are some fundamental rules that can maximize the benefits; however, there lots of options and variations to explore.  This article will help you build a foundation for your own meditation practice.

What is Meditation?
Meditation is a quieting of the mind… but it's not sleeping. In fact, it is a very active sensory practice; however, it's not thinking or contemplation or daydreaming.  Often there is confusion between these terms. Contemplation is deep reflective thinking on a topic. If we say we are going to meditate on a subject, what we really mean is that we are going to contemplate the subject.  Meditation is the removal of contemplation. Daydreaming is a wandering or ungrounded imaginative thinking about our hopes and dreams. Contemplation and Meditation or both forms of mindfulness. Daydreaming is not. There are positive health affects for both meditation and contemplation. Is one is better than the other? It's probably not a fair question. Both can serve a vital benefit in our lives. 

As for daydreaming, is there any health benefit? If there is, it is probably is not much. Any potential benefit of daydreaming would be similar to, but significantly less than, the benefits of sleeping: When daydreaming, our body tends to be in a restful state; potentially allowing our bodies to 'recharge'.  With daydreaming we are putting reality on hold and living in the future or the past. The extension of this practice can lead to a disappointment when confronted with reality.

A convenient way to envision these terms is using quadrants:

                                                 THINKING                NON-THINKING
MINDFUL                          Contemplation         Meditation
NON-MINDFUL             Daydreaming            Sleep

Meditation is an engagement of the parasympathetic nervous system. This is the part of the autonomous nervous system that controls our rest and restore processes (The counterpart to the parasympathetic nervous system, the sympathetic nervous system, control our flight or fight responses).  The autonomous nervous system is the control room for all of the body systems that are controlled without us thinking about them. This includes the heartbeat/heart rate, sweating, saliva production and digestions, urination, sexual arousal.

When meditating, or quieting the mind, our heart rate slows, our breathing slows, we enter a calm state of mind. Stress and tension are reduced. We are engaging a tool to help us to reduce stress throughout our daily life. Even if it is your first time you can enjoy the benefits of meditation. You may walk and talk more peacefully immediately after meditation. You might find yourself smiling. You may think more clearly. You may perform daily chores more consciously. After time, your daily stresses may come back, but be less severe.

As we continue to practice meditation, the better we become at calming ourselves when tensions run high. Rather than engaging in an argument, the body will subconsciously seek a meditative response. Rather than 'react',  we respond. Of course, this does not happen after meditating one time… It will happen as we make meditation part of our daily life. In essence, one could say that meditation is training the body to be calm and mindful.

Is meditation religious?
While most religions incorporate meditation as part of their practice (whether it be called prayer or meditation), meditation is not, by itself, religious. It's a body awareness practice rooted in better emotional and physical health (mindfulness and stress reduction). 

Can prayer replace meditation?
That all depends on what your prayer looks like. If prayer entails motion like rocking or shaking, then prayer might be a nice complement to meditation, but not a replacement for meditation. If prayer is a conversation with God, an asking or pleading, then again, prayer might be a nice complement, but not a replacement.  If prayer is a quieting of the mind (detaching from thinking), a focus on the body or breath, then yes, prayer could be a replacement for meditation. As mentioned earlier, meditation is rooted in emotional and physical health. It does not address any concept of spiritual health.

Preparing to meditate
Location
While meditation can be done anywhere you can find physical and mental stillness (even in the office, the airport, the train, or a park) , ideally, your location is a quiet room or a space in nature with only natural sounds (a pond, birds, the breeze, leaves rustling, etc.). Annoying distractions should be limited, including beeps from your phone or the microwave, talking, TV, etc. Can you meditate while driving the car or mowing the lawn? Absolutely not! These are jobs that require your attention. While they may be relaxing contemplative endeavors, they are not meditation.

When
Meditation can be done anytime during the day or night. Some people like to meditate early in the morning after they shower. This can be a wonderful way to start the day.  However, you may realize more benefit when you take time from the busy-ness of your day to meditate. While there may be increased stress in having to stop everything to meditate, this stress will dissipate fairly quickly. In addition, the stresses that have accumulated throughout the day can be kept in check by meditating during the more active part of your day. It's a chance to quiet the mind, rest, and breath. Meditating twice a day (morning and afternoon) is ideal.  If the evening is the only time for meditation, then meditate in the evening. Meditation can be a wonderful preparation for sleep.

How much time to allocate
The amount of time to set aside for meditation will vary from person to person. Some people believe the better you get at meditation, the more you will meditate. This simply is not true. The better you get at meditation, the less time you need to reap the physical benefits. While we may conjure images of the ascetic or a monk (a saddhu) meditating or praying for long periods of time, this is primarily done as a spiritual offering. In an effort to get closer to God or attain Moksha or Nirvana. This is closer to prayer than meditation. For most of us, meditation is not a spiritual journey or offering. We are not dedicating large portions of our days toward meditation. We have jobs and families; we have lives to live and enjoy. We are busy. The more time we spend in meditation, the more stressful life may potentially become as we are taking away from time at work, with family, daily chores and tasks, or even reading a book or partaking in a hobby. 

To maximize the benefits of meditation, establish a consistent daily meditation practice. Do not skip a day! If you have the desire, meditate twice a day. Personally, I think 10-20 minutes PER DAY is plenty of time. This can be two or three 5 minute sessions or one or two 10 minutes sessions. 10 minutes per session is more than enough; however, feel free to experiment, see what works best for you. For example, maybe start your day with a 10 minute meditation, then take 5 minutes during lunch, and then 5 minutes in the evening. If you are limited on time, then meditate once daily for 5 - 10 minutes. If it takes a while for you to quiet your mind, longer may be better. As you get comfortable with meditation you may feel comfortable reducing the duration. If you are getting frustrated or are finding meditation too difficult, then start with one or two minutes and work your way up over the course of a week or even a month.  It's really amazing what a one minute meditation can accomplish!

After several years of daily meditation, you might find that you can reduce the total meditation time per day without losing the benefits. In essence, the body has learned to operate meditatively! You will interact with others, meditatively. You will interact with yourself, meditatively.

How to Sit
Find a position that is comfortable. This can be sitting in a chair, on the floor cross-legged, or sitting on your heels with your toes untucked (the yoga pose, virasana).  There are also special meditation benches  available that allow you to sit similar to virasana but with the hips lifted.

If you are sitting in a chair, your feet should be grounded to the floor. Make sure your feet are not dangling above the floor. You can roll up a blanket or use a pillow under your feet for support.

If you are sitting cross-legged, then sit on a bolster or rolled up blanket, raising the hips above the knees. This will help to properly align the spine, making it easier to sit straight (avoiding hunching).

If you are sitting in virasana, you might want to provide cushioning (such as a blanket) under your knees and ankles. A cushion under the knees is also useful if you use a meditation bench.

What about walking?
Yes, there is also a walking meditation option. With walking meditation, you walk in a circle or back and forth. Slowly. Your eyes are open and you are alert, but not thinking. Just being present. Aside from the fact you are walking, everything else is the same.

Music?
Avoid music with lyrics as this may promote mentally singing along; engaging the mind. Something we want to avoid. Listening to quiet instrumental music or chanting can be helpful for many. It drowns out external noises and can provide a point of focus without engaging the mind. Especially for those newer to meditation.

There are also guided meditations (Yoga Nidra).  With guided meditations, you are listening to person talk you through your meditation. Rather than silence or quiet instrumental music, you are presented with spoken imagery for focusing your mind. For people who find it difficult to  quiet the mind in silence or if your mind is feeling particular active or you are feeling unsettled, a guided meditation is a great option. As you build a practice of meditation, you will eventually get to a point where a guided meditation may no longer be necessary. It doesn't mean you should stop using guided meditations, it just means that you will be able to meditate even when there is no option for a guided meditation.

Meditate!
Set your timer
When you are ready to start meditating, you will want to set a timer for your allocated time. Any timer will do, however, there are apps available that actually provide some additional value.  I will only discuss one app, Insight Timer, as that is what I have used. I believe it is available for free! There are many others; it may be helpful to do some research. Insight Timer will track your meditations and will award you with various colored stars to indicate the number of consecutive days you've meditated. As you continue to meditate daily, you see your total consecutive days rise. Watching your consecutive days counter increase and not wanting to 'start over' can prove to be enough incentive to ensure you do something every day. While some people may say that Pride is the most deadly of sins, I find it difficult to believe that I am hurting myself by being joyful that I have meditated for 50 days straight. If you do miss a day, and the counter starts over, then take a breath, smile, and start your new journey. Have fun with the app, use it as a tool; don't let it control your happiness.

Insight Timer provides several peaceful starting and ending chimes. It also allows you to set up a warm-up/set-up period. For example, if you set the warm-up to 20 seconds, then when you press start, the warm-up countdown starts. This means you have 20 seconds to settle into your physical seated position before the start chime.

There is also a social networking component to Insight Timer. When you are finished meditating, you can view other individuals in your area that were meditating at the same time and even send them a "Thank you for meditating with me" greeting. Perhaps silly to some; definitely unnecessary.

If it is your first time meditating, try meditating for one minute, then take a break to reflect on your meditation. Then try again for 2-3 minutes.

Assume the position
Are you comfortable? Can you stay in this position without feeling soreness? Make whatever adjustments necessary to find a comfortable position. Use blankets as needed. How is the temperature? Do you need to put a blanket over your shoulders? The goal is not to get cozy, but to get comfortable.

Regardless of whether you are sitting in a chair, cross-legged on the floor, on meditation bench, or in virasana, you will want to sit tall, consciously lengthening the spine. Soften your shoulders, relax your jaw and all the muscles around the face. Release the tongue from the roof the mouth. Maybe bring a slight smile to your mouth. In our busy lives, we often forget to smile. Just the act of creating a smile can often bring a sense of lightening or internal joy.

If you are just starting out, there is a chance your posture will change over the course of your meditation session. You may start leaning to one side or hunching over. To correct this, you can set a second interval timer that serves as a reminder to come back to your posture. For example, set an interval timer to go off every minute or two.  When the interval timer goes off, check in with your posture. Over time you will get better at subconsciously holding your posture and will no longer need the interval timer. Not to keep plugging Insight Timer (I do not receive any remuneration from the developers!!), but it does provide an optional interval timer.

Clear the mind, focus the mind
An easy way to start meditating is to picture yourself going to bed and falling asleep.  Closing your eyes to fall asleep is a different experience from closing your eyes because someone has asked you to close your eyes. To start, take slow inhales and exhales and relax into that pre-sleep state.  After about 10 seconds, bring your focus to your breath, staying present. A key component to meditation is staying present. As mentioned earlier, some people  prefer to meditate on a subject as a way of resolving a problem or exploring an idea.  This is actually not meditation; instead it is contemplation (thinking). While contemplation is very beneficial (or at least, very necessary); a deeper meditative state can be reached by releasing the mind from contemplation.

Staying present sounds easy… try it! One of the most difficult parts of meditating is staying present. Inevitably, the mind wanders. Whether it something from the past or a future task you will probably find yourself entering contemplative meditation or even daydreaming. In fact, it will probably happen a lot. It may happen every few minutes or even every few seconds! This is okay and perfectly normal! Acknowledge those contemplative thoughts that came into your mind, and let them pass. Come back to the breath. Come back to your smile.

When focusing on the breath, try not to count the breaths. Counting is thinking; we want to avoid thinking.

Some variations
Another way of staying present is to focus on a mantra. "Om" or "Aum" is considered a sacred syllable in Hinduism. Chanting "Om" is used in the yoga community as a way of unifying the students in a yoga class through the use of sound. Silently chanting the syllable "Om" can help you to stay present. Of course you can chant on a different mantra as well. "I am" is a simple chant that sounds like "Om" and can help to keep you grounded in the present.  My personal approach is to keep the mantra simple; avoid long phrases. Some people may meditate to a Sanskrit mantra like, "Aum Gum Shreem Maha Lakshmiyei Namaha" (Yes that is a real mantra!). Personally, I avoid the long chants, it starts to feel more like prayer and/or thinking.

As I mentioned previously, instrumental music or a guided meditation might be useful for keeping the focus. Especially if you are just starting out.  In addition, there are audio chanting tracks available for playback or download. Searching for 'Meditation chanting' on a music streaming service should provide lots of interesting results to explore.

If you are in a location where you are not comfortable closing your eyes completely (in an airport or even in a yoga class), you can just soften your gaze, make the world a blur. Maybe you will see some motion; however, just "see" it.  Don't contemplate or think about the motion.

Another option is to engage some or all of the five senses; smell, taste, sight, touch, sound. Only engaging , not contemplating. Hearing, without analyzing what you are hearing. What do you feel with your fingertips, externally and internally?  Can you feel your heart beat in your fingertips? In both hands? Across your body? Can you taste inside your mouth or taste with your sense of smell? See with your eyes closed. Your eyes are still "seeing". What do they see? Colors? Shapes? Just see the shapes and colors; don't analyze or label the shapes and colors. Another visual option is to light a candle and meditate with your eyes softly fixed on the flame. Taking in the flame, it's motion. Letting the vision of the flame stop at the eyes. Not allowing the mind to take over.

Don't limit yourself to one way of meditating. Feel free to explore different seating options as well as different approaches for staying present. Maybe in the morning sit on the floor and use candle gazing meditation, then at work sit in a chair and silently chant a mantra.

What if I am sick?
If you are sick, you may decide to meditate longer! Try 20 or 30 minutes. When we are sick, we often don't want to do anything. We may get tired of sleeping, TV may give us a headache, reading is impossible, soft music can even be annoying. Meditation is a great opportunity to do nothing but still be awake. You can meditate while sitting in a warm bath or, better yet, take a warm bath, and then get dry and warm (lots of blankets), make some tea, get cozy (yes, it is okay to get cozy when you are sick!), and meditate. Feel free to take sips of tea (or blow your nose) at intervals. Maybe smile?

What if I don't have time? What if I miss a day, a week, a month, a year?
There are days when finding time to meditate is a challenge.  On those days, set your timer to one minute. It does not matter if you did not meditate yesterday (or the past week, month, or year). Stay present, meditate today.

Where does yoga fit in?
Yoga (the yoga poses and breathing) is a wonderful prep for meditation. In fact, according to early Sanskrit writings about yoga, the yoga asana (poses) and pranayama (breath) are preparation for meditation. 

Yoga can be a form of meditation on its own. Doing yoga asana is the act of putting your body into a pose. It can be a restorative/relaxing pose, a strengthening pose, a breathing pose, a twisting or bending pose, a balance pose, or an upside pose.  During a yoga class, you are guided into a pose (often with the teacher cueing the breath inhales and exhales), then you hold the pose for seconds or minutes depending on the instruction until you are guided out of the pose and into the next pose. During the transitions between poses (the physical movement), you are very conscious and focused on your movement and your body alignment. This is not meditation. After the transition, when you are holding a pose (especially for poses that you hold for 30 seconds or longer), you may come into a meditation; especially if you are more experienced at doing yoga. For experienced yogis, the body memory already knows the pose and little time is spent thinking about alignment (or the time, or what the person next to you is doing). Instead, the experienced yogi quiets the mind, opens the senses, breathes, and meditates.

In Summary
Try meditation every day for a week. Find a time that works for you and work up to 4-8 minutes each session (or whatever works best for you). If you miss a day, then restart the counter. Don't give up until you have meditated for seven consecutive days. After each session take an assessment of how you felt before and how you feel after the mediation; maybe even documenting your thoughts in a journal. After the seventh day, take an assessment to determine if anything has changed because of your meditation. Are you enjoying the meditation? Do you find meditation addictive? If you missed a day, did you feel it? Did you have a twinge of guilt or remorse? It's okay if you did. Don't dwell on it. Meditation is a 'practice'. Even the most diligent meditators have days where it's just not working and they struggle staying present. Meditation is a wonderful tool that you can benefit from for the rest of your life. Enjoy the journey!